I know this is a process. It's a very hard process right now. Even though I've been hurting and healing for six and a half years, I still dream about what might have been. I dream about good things that could have happened as well as bad things that could have happened. Last night I had a dream that my uncle was holding this sweet little six year old who looked amazingly like me, but with reddish-blond hair, on his lap. My uncle died a few weeks ago, so I know he's in heaven with Emily and probably is holding her on his lap right now.